Radio Chthulucene 87.9 FM

I completely forgot to write a journal on monday because of the immense of stress and worry I felt for friends I had in the encampment. It’s been a shitty week of feeling like administration wants its students to either be silent or face trauma or risk their physical safety, and having someone I really care be on the receiving end of this treatment made this whole week feel so strange. It is strange to just keep creating when there is so much turmoil, but it is what Palestinian artists have done for decades. I think because of this class I take note of code switching more often than I used to. When I read Khosla’s email on Monday, there was apart where he moves from being celebratory (at tearing down tents, arresting his students, spending our money on hundreds of police officers), to restating UCSD’s commitment to student expression. This switch bothers the hell out of me every time I read it, because it is just a lie, and because it is always so abrupt that anyone who reads it is going to be taken out of the message. I have seen professors switch the tone that they usually have in class to ones that are more somber, acknowledging that what we are all collectively feeling is difficult and that they themselves are not sure how to proceed. In myself, I can see that I am switching between codes of professionalism and politeness in public when I take about Monday (like saying “yea everything is so crazy”) to one much more honest when I am around people I am comfortable with (” I didn’t know where the fuck my friend was for 6 hours, and now I just have to go back like nothing happened”).

In terms of the project, I spoke with my partner last week and they seem super sweet! They mentioned incorporating a beastie boys song in the radio station and we will discuss this, but right now I’m thinking of wanting to incorporate more Spanish music, Im hoping once they read my work they’ll get why. We were supposed to meet up this week but my brain just has been focused on making it through. Also workshop went well, Im glad people liked my abuelo’s voice, I miss it and it was fun to reimagine how he’d sound like now. Im also very relieved people caught onto the tone switch and found it funny, it was important to me that its more joyful than anything. I agreed with Kevin’s idea about asking a family member to speak in my grandfather’s voice, my Tio Martin immediately comes to mind. He is the only member in my family besides my mom who I’m out to, and also the only one I feel comfortable sharing this piece with. I think he’d love the chance to mimics his dad’s voice, and out of everyone in my family, he is the most like my abuelo. Ill text him on Monday and explain everything. He’ll probably be super kind about it, which is comforting to know.

Until next time ❤