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I? am? so? confused? by? TwERK? but? I? like? it?

Attempting to read through Diggs’ TwERK has been almost impossible, between the tumultuous events (which is entirely the wrong way to describe the last few weeks, but I am failing to put words to the reality of everything), the accelerated pacing of course-loads that always accompanies the latter half of quarter, and the reading being objectively hard to decipher, I admittedly cannot comprehend this weeks reading. This conclusion usually would have me in a tailspin of intellectual inadequacy, however, I have come to appreciate, from this class, that not all readings can be entirely understood and most are never grasped in their entirety from one reading. I think that is one of the marvels of TwERK, that despite my frustration I have come to love that every time I return to a poem I find something I had not previously found. Depending on the time of day, my mood, the people I am with, my comprehension of the poems is ever changing. I also enjoy that I will never fully understand Diggs’ work in its entirety, there is an obscurity there that can only be uncovered by a select few, if not only the author themselves.

This level of obscurity is something I aspire to one day be able to inhibit, however, sometimes think I am not creative enough, I cannot think unconventionally enough to write something as unique as the things we have read in this class. My brain will always be hardwired to the conventional. I may never be able to deprogram that critic. Maybe this is something that, for me, must be done line by line. I cannot expect for the thread to unwind from my ribcage randomly one day, instead it must be pulled slowly, project by project, word by word.

Perhaps the hardest part of writing in this way would be finding something to say that I could convey in a way that would still be hidden under obscurity. Is writing for only myself to understand tactful enough to ever put out into the world? Diggs’ had a purpose, but I am unsure that I could ever produce something of similar obscurity that still have meaning.