Radio Chthulucene 87.9 FM

All I want is for time to stop but I wake up counting the minutes for the day to be over.

Week 9 of my last quarter in college and I find myself stressing my way through the final weeks day-by-day. Every quarter I worry if I will get the grades I want but I think this is the first quarter (great timing, I know) that I actually might fall a little short of my desires. A big factor is my chronic procrastination and laziness but this time around, another big factor seems to be a fear of the future that freezes me everyday. It just doesn’t seem real that I am finally going to graduate and step into adulthood in a way I could never really picture growing up. But nonetheless, time will continue.

This past weekend I finished my audio recording for my project. I had mentioned in a previous journal that I was afraid of recording as my VIS147A partner said he didn’t have much experience in creating audios. Because of this fear, I made the audio version of my work relatively simple. I mainly just read through my piece and incorporate a song into it as well. My partner ended up being way more knowledgeable and helpful than I had anticipated but I was a little overwhelmed when I did have to record that I wasn’t sure how else to improve it at the time. Looking back on it now, I definitely would have incorporated more background sounds. I worry now that it sounded a little *boring* which is a bit of a bummer.

I hadn’t been able to listen to much of the Lost Children Archive this week (or last, in all honesty) due to being sick on and off for the last two weeks. Although we are basically at the finish line of the course, I still want to take the time and effort to listen to it and go back to other works like tWERK for a bit of reflection. This is the first class in a while that I have been met with such dense and challenging work that I don’t want to deny myself the chance to wrangle with such thoughts and ideas freely. Hopefully in the free time I get in the next few weeks I can do so.