Radio Chthulucene 87.9 FM

Tomorrow I will go install my radio in the Lodge at Pepper Canyon. I was contemplating at the last minute whether that is the official spot where I would like my radio to be but considering the content of my actual piece, it only felt right. I made a sign with the radio station number and a note that is supposed to veer people away from touching it so hopefully it works out. I am still conflicted on whether to place it on the first level where there would be the most foot traffic or second level where no one would disturb the radio. Nonetheless, that is a task for tomorrow.

Reflecting on my finished project, I have both things I am proud of and things I wish I expanded upon more. One of my strengths is how (I think) I consolidated the theme more in my writing. In my workshop draft, I had the initial thought of writing about how love is shown in my life without it ever being said. I wrote about how certain actions or other words besides “love” communicate that feeling for me. With some notes from Professor Carroll and my peers, I realized how *messy* it was and how all the different components seemed like a lot to take in. In my final draft I ended up focusing on a more specific love, one that I experience(d) with my current partner. This alteration focused my piece a bit more and (in my opinion) made it easier to follow along for the reader. I also feel my incorporation of more translanguaging strengthened my project in the end simply because it played with course concepts more. I didn’t realize until I was making changes how translanguaging brought a bit more color and personality to my piece. The flow of my piece felt less monotonous as my pronunciations and speed when I spoke the different languages was vastly different than when I was just speaking English.

For my weaknesses, I definitely would have expanded more on background noises. Although the increased translanguaging helped, it did sound a bit boring at times when it was just me speaking for a couple minutes straight. For example, I would have loved to incorporate the sounds of bed sheets rustling or driving noises or muffled background conversations to create a stronger image and setting in the listener’s mind. Initially I thought speaking straight through my piece would create an intimate feeling but from a listener’s point of view I could see how it would come off monotonous and in need of a bit of color. I also think in my writing I could have played with the structure a bit better. I liked the idea of keeping a combination of poems and small blurbs of prose but reading it now it still feels a bit fragmented. Nonetheless, I am proud of the writing and audio I was able to compose especially since I have never done anything like this before.

Moving forward, I will probably not do anything with the writing or audio version I made for this project besides keeping it as a keepsake. It was the first time I have recorded my voice for a school project (do I really sound like that?) so it will be nice to physically have something to pull out and play in the future if I ever think back on it. For my writing, however, I definitely think I will be more mindful of the auditory aspect of my pieces. Whenever I write, I really only read it inside my head or through mumbles. I read it the way that could be completely different from the way someone else would interpret it. This project made me realize how different messages and feelings come across when sound becomes involved. When I recorded I had to read segments of my piece multiple times to truly get across how I was feeling. It is something I hadn’t really thought of before before this project and so I am glad to have a wider perspective on how to improve my writing. 

Our last class meeting with the visit from Professor Hoang was super insightful and enjoyable for me. I tried to take two of her classes this school year but failed so I was glad to finally see and listen to her in person. I was fascinated with the amount of time and effort she and Vy put into every line, each word carrying weight towards a specific goal. My main takeaway was how okay Professor Hoang was with her work having such a limited “full” understanding and specific audience. For so long I would alter my work to fit struggles and hardships many 2nd generation children face in America even though I know it wasn’t true a lot of the time. I have always been afraid to write about my specific experience because I didn’t want to come off as I was reaching for struggles or seem attention-seeking. I think now, moving forward, I want to strip away this mask I have been wearing in my writing. I don’t know where to start but I will.

Closing my final journal post I would like to express my gratitude towards this course. Not only was I introduced to amazing works and pieces but also came to the realization of not having to explain myself to be understood. There was a beauty in many of our readings of just “being” and I can’t wait to explore this in my future writings.